2003-07-18 - 11:01 a.m.

... while on the subject of embarassing moments ...

One virtuous day I decided to go to the gym. I put my favorite inspirational tape in my sporty walkman (no, that wasn't 'Eye of the Tiger', it was Radiohead - yes, oddly enough I find that inspiring for jogging). I set myself up on a treadmill that most disconcertingly resembled the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

Trying to look nonchalant and at ease with the array of buttons and controls, I started the treadmill at an easy pace while I set up my station with the essentials: water to swig on my journey, a towel to wipe the sweat from my brow, and my little sporty walkman which I propped on the handle.

I raised my speed. I took a swig of water. I dabbed at my neck with the towel. I adjusted the volume on my walkman. I raised the speed some more. Took another swig. Tightened my ponytail. Turned the tape over in the walkman. More speed. It was then that the headphone cord became taught as the distance between myself and the controls increased. And suddenly the walkman dropped onto the belt at my feet.

In my shock and instinct to not draw attention to myself, I forgot to keep running. I stood still and bent down to pick the walkman up. The treadmill was still going.

At 10km per hour my non-running self and the walkman were quickly shunted off the back of the treadmill to the floor.

I landed on my bum at the back of the treadmill with the walkman landing on top of me, the treadmill still churning away.

My first instinct was to see this scene as those around me must have and interpret it as hugely funny, hense I began laughting manicly.

The falling wasn't so bad, no, the worst thing was that everyone pounding on their treadmills around me pretended it had not happened - they averted their gaze and fixed their steely eyes on the mirror ahead, not even crediting my stupidity with a smirk.

I got up, stopped the treadmill, got my things and left the gym never to return.

... And there's plenty more where that came from! Oh the humanity!

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